Another article I wrote, ‘The Dominatrix – Bullwhips, Strapons and Modern Male Sexuality’ which concerns itself with the image of a dominatrix and how this has evolved, got me thinking about the aesthetic of that image.
We are all fondly aware of the striking image of a dominatrix clad in tight fitting leather, complete with thigh boots, biker cap and imperious stare, but is there really a ‘uniform’ for a domina? No, no and no again!!
There are perhaps some definable groups or identifiers which strike as a trademark for some dominatrix. Ladies who love leather, latex, dark and gothic, uniform, lingerie, and so on – everyone has a right to a personal preference or preferences.
One thing I often find amusing is when I receive an application, and the applicant asks if I would ‘wear dominatrix gear’ – when I ask what they mean by this, the answers are often hilarious.
‘A Basque, thigh boots and suspenders’ is a popular description given by hopefuls. One made me chuckle by asking if I had a ‘proper dominatrix throne’ – if parading round in my underwear and sitting on a throne was all it took to be a ‘proper dominatrix’ I would have retired long ago!
This does not mean that the aesthetic side of what I do is to be taken lightly. Shallow as it sounds, appearances can often be a key make or break factor! Imagine somebody who has a fantasy relating to a strict aunt or schoolmistress administering CP – it wouldn’t really be fair of me to turn up to the door wearing a full array of fetish latex would it? (Within my rights, but nonetheless unfair 😉 )
Often what you wear (as in any area of life) is a visual indicator as to your character and intent at that moment. I don’t mean this in a vain way either – imagine seeing a chap walking down the street in a full tracksuit carrying a gym bag – you can probably guess where he has been or is going. Sometimes the reverse is true – I know of many individuals who adore to be caned or spanked by a lady in her everyday clothing.
With some specific fetishes, for example a pantyhose fetish, the object itself; the fabric, the texture and material are as important as the look it creates on the wearer. Here we come to the sharp point – objectification. Am I objectifying myself by wearing certain garments in certain circumstances? For me, the answer is no for two reasons: I would never wear anything I felt uncomfortable in, and I would not session with someone who was only interested in a perceived visual image. So if you see a shot of me wearing a short latex dress, or an exquisitely tailored hounds tooth suit, you can be sure that I am equally happy in both! And as important as they are, and varied and beautiful in their design, remember that what someone wears is inconsequential if you have no chemistry in the first place.
In summary, I love to look good – I love clothing, footwear and materials of all sorts – but do they define me as a dominatrix? Hell no!