The following essay is by a long term slave of mine ‘R” who has recently completed a year in chastity. He was not ‘locked away’ in a device but remained chaste through willpower and the urge to please. He was instructed to write a 1000 word essay about his experiences which I am sure that any of you who have an interest in chastity control or experienced it first hand, will find intriguing to read.
By way of an introduction, and so that you understand that this adventure was not entered into recklessly and without consideration, I have to tell you that I have had a long-term fascination with chastity and have previously explored denial under Mistress Liza’s supervision. Those explorations culminated in a record period of denial of 6 weeks, and I can report that, at the time, I thought that felt like an age.
The most recent journey was commenced in early April 2018, following a consultation with Mistress Liza. The initial objective was to refrain from masturbation for a period of 100 days. A review would take place at the end of that period, to determine the way forward. I’ll be honest, the duration scared me, as it certainly raised the bar, but I was also immensely excited and motivated to live up to the expectations that had been set for me.
The first two months actually seemed to pass swiftly, with no events of note; other factors provided suitable distractions. However, the third month was different, a tingle had not only started, but steadily developed in strength and duration. Mistress Liza had previously advised me that any sensations would probably become more prominent over time, and in late June, that prophecy came (if you will excuse the term) true! One sunny morning, while walking at work, I experienced what I can only describe as a muscular spasm in the genital region, immediately followed by a significant release of fluid. The surprise, as this was a completely new experience, was quickly replaced with a sense of embarrassment for two main reasons: firstly, and most obviously, there was a damp spot on the front of my trousers that found me scuttling to a place of safety to tend to the matter, and secondly, I had lost control of my body in a very specific and unusual way. The shock was followed by an ache, nothing too severe, but it was persistent and lasted well into the next day. These two days became the first time I felt challenged, and although there was temptation, I was rewarded with a pleasant sense of satisfaction when the ache (and the temptation) eventually subsided – naturally.
When Mistress Liza responded to my 100-day report I was delighted to hear of the amusement that my embarrassing situation and the growing frustration had provoked. As a result of reaching the objective, I was permitted a release, although an option was offered to continue the experiment. I found that I was in, what I described at the time, as a ‘strange and thoughtful state of mind’ and I accepted the option to remain under supervision, foregoing the very generous offer. I won’t lie, a significant portion of my character did scream “No, you fool, make hay while the sun shines!”, but I was greatly enjoying the daily observance of Mistress Liza’s instructions and I felt quite proud at the strength of my resolve. An extended target was established, and when I mentioned to Mistress Liza that the new objective would bring my period of denial up to 155 days, I received a teasing response that 155 didn’t sound far from 365. It was at that point that a notion emerged, that a year would be both a good challenge and would also be an appropriate sacrifice in service to Mistress Liza’s amusement.
During the months of July and August the aforementioned dull ache became a constant companion, only without any peaks or troughs. I began to wonder if I had been visited by the mythical ‘Blue Balls’, although it had not been accompanied by the agonies reported by some of my peers. I will confess that there was a point when I almost wished for the discomfort to be become more challenging, to heighten the experience and maybe provide a further source of entertainment.
The second target came and went, with the previous dull ache being replaced with a mixture of feelings in the genital region that I still find hard to describe; sometimes warm, sometimes cold, feelings of expansion or contraction, and often, a combination of all of the above.
The beauty of the sensations I had been experiencing since the start of this journey is that I was kept constantly aware of my situation and this would bring Mistress Liza to mind frequently during the course of the day. Denial is a very portable interest, you can take it with you as you go about your daily life, and I can see how it could be beneficial in any relationship as it can really help focus the mind. I started to watch myself, in an objective manner, and found great satisfaction noting that even at moments of great temptation, no rebellious thoughts emerged. I began to think of these moments of reflection as a mediation practice. Distracting myself with one activity or another did help (for me it was primarily exercise), but sometimes I just had to sit or lie with my thoughts.
As winter approached, the physical sensations had almost vanished, emerging now and then, accompanied by random expulsions of fluid and early morning expressions of extreme, and often surprisingly painful, excitement. I found myself at the end of the year firmly committed to the idea of an orgasm-free twelve months, that was only now three months away.
Overall, I found the experience exciting and enlightening and it is probably no coincidence that the same period saw me the most active that I have been for many years. I enjoyed feeling Mistress Liza’s influence and control on a very regular, almost constant basis, and having to develop my self-control to meet the expectations placed upon me. I genuinely liked providing a source of amusement and being the recipient of the teasing or encouraging comments (actually, I must confess that I adored that), and I took satisfaction from the trust that Mistress Liza placed in me and the pleasure that was expressed as a result of my gentle suffering.