No Means No


There are many, many upsides to my profession – lots of things that I enjoy, and that I put a great amount of effort into to produce what I hope are strong and positive outcomes. As with anything though, there is no white without black, no sweet without sour.

femdom derby midlands ukI do not generally speak of negative things (as I am fortunate enough not to have too many!) but in the interest of even journalism, I will over time record a few instances within these blogs.

What I wish to discuss today is not something jaw-droppingly awful, but nonetheless a negative. I am talking about persistence – of the wrong kind.

As I have mentioned before, and is well known, I do not see everyone who applies to visit me. This is not through any form of vain exclusivity (I see people from all backgrounds and walks of life), but because I hold a high value on session quality being created for the most part through compatibility. If I feel for some reason that someone is not compatible for a session with me, or I am not compatible with him or her, I will not session with them. This could be because of interests which do not match mine (for example, I do not undertake ‘forced bi’, or heavy medical play); or simply a ‘communication issue’ for example someone who telephones me who clearly has not done any research from my website, and proceeds to ask lots of questions which are clearly answered via the wealth of information I provide, and is perhaps just seeking ‘off the shelf’ domination & discipline. Also refused are people who feel ‘entitled’. While it is true that you are indeed paying for something, treating me in any way like a paid service provider and throwing your weight around is definitely not a good idea.

Sometimes, someone will be accepted to see me, and very rarely I feel that we are not compatible based on chemistry and our exchange within the first session – they will not be invited to return. This is through no malice, but simply a saving of time money and effort for both parties. Why flog a dead horse?

Unfortunately, very rarely over the years I have had the misfortune of encountering individuals who feel that after I have declined to session with them, they can win my favour by incessantly pestering me, and somehow be allowed to come back and visit my premises. It baffles me that after someone has been clearly and politely told that their company and communication are not welcome, would insist on continuing to send emails, texts and voice mails. What if I said yes? Would you really want to spend your hard earned money on entering a premises and spending time with someone who clearly does not like you, or want you there? Why waste your time? Some start waving large amounts of cash around, or trying to be clever and making little insinuations – do you think any of this endears you to me? And for those of you who think you can be a smartarse, I have been around for a very long time…

This is by all means not everyone who is refused a first or second session – 99% of people I choose not to see have the good sense to accept that my refusal has been a decision made for mutual benefit – I sometimes even recommend other female dominants who I feel may be more suited to the rejected client!

In short, if you do apply to see me and are rejected, be a grown up and accept it.