‘Hi Mistress, I would like to be suspended, have breath play, electrics, wax, mummification, use spreader bars, try on a humbler, use an oral speculum and have sensory deprivation for a while, followed by a flogging on your St Andrews with no marks.. Oh, and possibly a brief spell in your Russian gas mask.’
‘How long a session would you like?’
‘An hour please’
Something that often pops into my mind when thinking about what I do in sessions is the matter of simplicity. Sometimes, be it due to media image, websites or other conveyances, the measure of a good Dominatrix is portrayed by her skills in complex and diverse acts, often accompanied by an array of tools and furniture.
Nothing wrong with that sometimes; but then, we also have simplicity. How many of you have been to a concert or listened to a piece of music where you have felt the ambience created by a simple bass beat, or a low, gradually building intro before the lights come on and the other instruments kick in? That simple 4/4 beat of a kick drum building a crowd to the point of frenzy with a simple 1 -2 -3 -4. What are the parts of a song more often hummed in the street – a complex acrobatic acapella, or the simple, easy to remember and well crafted hook line?
Not that I am saying there is anything wrong with complexity – my jaw still drops at the virtuoso styles of Vanessa Mae or a Rachmaninoff piano solo, but those pieces still rely on simple foundations. A musician I once knew said, “Often, the notes you miss out are as important as the ones you play, it’s about the presence of the music”.
From music to Femdom – the simple message of this blog is do not forget the gravity of simple acts, and the way they are carried out.
Of course lots of Dominas are highly skilled in many different schools of BDSM and Femdom and there is a whole world of interaction, sensation and new experiences out there for you, but you can also take your time. Take for example a simple act of bondage; perhaps kneeling before your beautiful Mistress as she affixes your cuffs and collar, or binds you with rope or chain, looking up at her as she does this. The feelings you have as you shift balance and fall under her control, becoming hers instead of your own. Appreciating every nuance and movement she makes, how she looks at you. The texture of the rope, leather or chain on your bare skin, how tight it may be, how it restricts your movement and the shortness of your breath and higher heart rate as you conduct your power exchange – in a nutshell this can simply be described as ‘getting tied up’, but if you take your time, it could be a lasting and emotive experience. What would be the point of buying an exquisite box of chocolates to simply wolf them down without tasting the delicate flavors and textures therein?
Of course you may like to be roughly and quickly restrained, with no ceremony, but that does not mean that you cannot hold on to every second as precious, does it?
As with all BDSM and Femdom, taste-wise, there are no rules and there are as many tastes and dynamics as there are people, so there is no wrong or right – I myself enjoy sessions from a simple spanking as much as I do a full suspension with electrics. But, next time you read a list on a Mistresses website and are fantasizing about doing a handstand with tights on your head while she hooks you up to an electronic sensation device, take a little time to think of the gravity of smaller acts…